April 2011

Ferris Bueller took the day off. Did everything he possibly could with his buddies in the great city of Chicago, because it quite possibly could have been his last day on Earth. But, the very essence of going a different direction and living life on your own terms captured the imagination of his school mates at Shermer High School. The fact that he was going to live life to its fullest for the short time he had left inspired. They took up collections. They painted Save Ferris on the water tower. Awesome. Now, you can remember this poignant cinematic moment forever with this Save Ferris T Shirt.

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As a 40-year-old living in my mother’s basement it sometimes baffles me that movies, music, and other bits of pop culture trickle down the ages and find a place in the hearts of the latest generation. Apparently, that’s what has happened with Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. It remains relevant and a must see movie. Thus, we have this Abe Froman Sausage King of Chicago T Shirt still in circulation and going strong.

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Javaboi Industries buzzes with style and humor and fills an important niche in this java-fueled world we are living in: funny coffee t shirts. What a novelty and what a niche. People love to parade around their fancy mugs, and stainless steel carafe’s, and grind and brew their fancy beans, or laugh at their slavish addiction to the local cafe’s offerings.

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Harkening back to the real good ol’ times with this Married With Children T Shirt. Apparently, No Ma’am stands for:

National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood. If you believe in the show and the cause, then you should seriously consider purchasing the No Ma’am T Shirt.

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Here’s Sheldon Cooper’s expanded version of Roshambo.

“Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitate lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and rock crushes scissors.”

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Apparently, this The Big Bang Theory was a good show. I wouldn’t know because I don’t watch TV. I only do macrame in my quiet evenings as I try to wind down from my hard day of work in my mom’s basement trying to make friends MySpace.

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“364 days until the next pretzel day.” Stanley loves pretzel day. It almost makes his dreary office life worth it. Or at least tolerable, which if you think about it is kind of sad. Poor Stanley. But, if you can separate yourself from your feelings for Stanley for a moment, and take a step back, you can see that this I Love Pretzel Day T Shirt is pretty funny and a nice addition to The Office t shirt collection.

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Of course, we have one of the most ubiquitous lines in all of English-speaking humanity. And, there’s a ton of different versions of this That’s What She Said T Shirt, but I happen to like this one quite a bit with the addition of Steve Carell, playing Michael Scott, standing with that particular boss stance in that boss suit. So how this thing works for just about everything and can get you giggling like a three year old on nitrous.

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I never watched the show, but I saw a few clips here and there. Just a good ol’ time. Actually, it looked pretty stupid but it grabbed a space in the cultural zeitgeist of the time and hasn’t really let go. It always helps to have a muscle car, two handsome dudes, and a hot chick in tight, jean shorts (can you say Daisy Dukes!!). Plus, I think the paint job on the car…the orange with the black 01 lettering is totally underated as a big part of the overall appeal. It’s very beautiful, but, of course, I may be biased, because I grew up loving the San Francisco Giants and that’s the color of that team. I think those team colors have some very powerful effect and people. Like those colors bleed into your brain and trigger some sort of chemical response.

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Walter Sobchak, played by John Goodman, is big and bad and he’s the kind of tough guy you want on your side, when somehow there’s a case of mistaken identity and thugs come in a piss on your rug. Except that he’s all bluster and no brains, so things get sideways pretty quick with Walter. Nonetheless, from the point of view of a detached observer it’s pretty damn funny stuff. And, when you witness the sublime, you want to hang on to that magical feeling, and there’s no better way to do that than wear the You Are Entering a World of Pain T Shirt.

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Why am I not remembering this part of the movie? I’ve seen the film numerous times because it’s a god damned masterpiece from the Cohen Brothers. Jeff Bridges and John Goodman are masterful. Anyway, it looks like I’m going to have to do like 17 seconds of Internet research to figure out what this Kaoru Betto T Shirt references. Okay, just as I suspected…the Dude wore this tshirt during the movie. Of course, I only remember the v-neck and the wool cardigan, but I’m old and prone to huff shit in paper bags that I’m not supposed to, so my memory can’t be relied on. I’m sure I can find a clip on Youtube to prove it, but it might take another 27 seconds.

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Another great scene from the The Princess Bride. Of course, Vizzini pet phrase is Inconceivable and finally, Inigo Montoya says without malice…”I do not think that word means what you think it means.” Perfect line.

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