April 2011

Just so you know 8008135 looks like boobies on a calculator on in the time machine control panel. Very funny. You have the Back to the Future DeLorean Time Machine and they’re punching in the numbers, except that instead of a normal destination date they punch in the old digital numbers boobies trick. That’s very nice and you know it, which is why you are so tempted to just say F It and by this Back to the 8008135 T Shirt despite what your mom, gramma, aunt, sister, and Ms. Fafenhooper, your English teacher, think.

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The Department of Justice Federal Bureau of Investigation has a message for you and they hope to keep you on the straight and narrow. Otherwise, if a critical mass of the nation becomes addicted to drugs, the United States goes down in flames. There is no way to police all of the mayhem that drug-fueled masses would produce.

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3 Werewolves T Shirt

by on April 13, 2011

Those are some beasty sinewy werewolves howling at a blood red moon that looks somewhat like an organ from a mammal. Plus, you have a scary dead tree, vampire bats flying around, big sharp teeth, fiery red eyes, and menacing nostril steam, to make this one of the spookiest shirts I’ve ever seen. The 3 Werewolves T Shirt is especially insidious because it is mimicking the ubiquitous three wolves concept, which is such iconic imagery for togetherness, soulfulness, and metaphysical exploration. I mean that’s what I feel when I see those magnificent beasts howling at the full moon.

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I like calling a gun a boomstick, and I like that the S-Mart Sporting Goods Department has this very fine 12-gauge, Double Barrel, Walnut Stock, Cobalt Blue Steel with a hair trigger for the excellent price of $109.95. But, that’s not all. You also get the chainsaw for only $9.95 with a purchase of a Boomstick. You have to be crazy not to take advantage of that deal.

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At first I thought it was a piss sample, then I thought why would you save that much urine, because that’s definitely more than one visit to the loo. And, also, why would carrying around a half quart of piss be a party. Of course, I haven’t been around much seeing as I live in mom’s basement, so maybe that’s the cutting edge of nightlife behavior. Third thing to come to mind was why can’t that girl model move her hair so you can see more of the shirt, but then I realized I could have picked the image Busted Tees offers of just the shirt art work. I chose the girl because she’s cute.

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First thing I thought when I saw this shirt was “oh, Busted Tees, has started licensing, that’s suprising…oh wait, that’s the Star Wars logo but it says Star Trek. And, then it hit me. We have a misdirection t shirt in our midst. I suggest you buy this Star Trek T Shirt (ha, ha…it just doesn’t do it justice in text) and wear it around and see how many people have spasmodic little cognitive disassociations, and then they’ll get it and laugh and envy you for having such a sweet shirt.

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This shirt is hilarious. I love it. All I can think of is Kenny G. I think I might have a thing for him, seductively holding that soprano sax just so. Yum. And, you know the man did hard core drugs, and was sexed out of his mind. Every milf in the country loved those silky shitty tunes he coaxed out of that God-forsaken instrument. Plus, he probably went both ways, so his pleasure was doubled. That’s how the math works out. Right?

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Not too much of a funny shirt here, but a good message and a powerful image of tank man in Tiananmen Square, when Chinese students were protesting the oppressive Chinese regime.

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Can someone help me out with this one? I think the GI Bullet T Shirt looks cool on its own without knowing any back story, but if I know Split Reason, then I know that there’s a story behind this. It’s part of a video game. It’s a mashup of some sort. I did my requisite 18 seconds of Internet research and could only find some GI Joe related things, like GI Joe’s friend GI Man, the human bullet. Dude was hooked up on a string and had a special metal helmet that made his head look like a bullet and he could blast through things.

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A fine mashup with Star Wars Chewbacca and Domo Kun. Not to dissuade anyone from buying this great Chewie Kun T Shirt, but I find Chewbacca very irritating. Not as irritating as Jar Jar Binks and Yoda, but up there in terms of grating on the nerves. I guess all his furry cuddliness, and his devotion to the cause makes up for it, and I’m on the Wookie’s side. No this Domo Kun dude is totally out of my comfort zone. Dude can’t speak or close his mouth and he’s got that square body thing going on.

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If you’re into the geek and gamer culture, I highly recommend you go check out Split Reason. It’s an awesome site to indulge in all the Mario Bros., Star Wars, and nery mashups your heart could possibly desire. If you’re not into the geek stuff, you’re not going to have a clue what any of these shirts mean.

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The Split Reason tagline is “Gear for Geeks and Gamers” and that’s exactly what you’ll find within their nerdy online confines. The featured topics on these shirts are your typical Mario Bros., Star Wars, dragons, but they’re done in such an original way, that if you are in to these types of things…if you truly are a nerdy geek, you’re gonna love these shirts.

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