February 2011

Hey God would never exhibit wrath toward the first dude he created. Adam was so innocent and pristine when he first got plopped on Earth. He was God’s guinea pig. How could God have so much anger toward him that early. I mean I can see this playing out with Vlad the Impaler, evil dictators throughout history, every single person that has worked on Wall St. for the last 15 years, my ex wife, the entire C-Suite and Board of Directors at Monsanto, and Scott Walker, but the first dude he hadn’t had time to fuck up. Eve wasn’t even there yet to lead him to the path of iniquity.

Read more on Michaelangelo Creation of Adam God’s Wrath T Shirt…

{ 0 comments }

Nice wordplay. For the uninitiated — and that’s no shame, especially now that you are here and bettering yourself — this is a play on Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy, which is a common thread among the hip hop, and rap community, because it really is not. You have to find good hos. You have to keep those hos workin’ for you, and by workin’ I mean givin’ seedy, sweaty, fat duds handies next to the smelly dumpster in the darkest alley. You have to hit some hos when they start to get out of line. You have to work some of the clientele that is slow to pay. You have to maintain an exquisite wardrobe, including keeping your hat at a perfect tilt.

Read more on Big Daddy Kane Hindenburg Blimpin’ Ain’t Easy T Shirt…

{ 0 comments }

This is in reference to the Business Time video from The Flight of the Conchords duo.

“You’re wearing that same ol’ ugly baggy t shirt with the stain on it that you got from that team building exercise you did for your old work several years ago. Team Building Exercise ’99 T Shirt.”

Read more on Flight of the Conchords Team Building Exercise ’99 T Shirt…

{ 0 comments }

Superbad McLovin T Shirt

by on February 18, 2011

There cannot be enough versions of this McLovin T Shirt. Superbad was a great movie and the fake ID with the name McLovin scene was just an absolute gem. Everybody likes that shit and Christopher Mintz-Plasse was spectacular. On a side note, it looks like Mr. Mintz-Plasse turned 21 last summer, so he won’t run into the sort of trouble he got into buying alcohol in the movie. Can you imagine working in a liquor store these days, and he comes in. I would lose my shit, give away stuff for free, scream McLovin like 40 times, and probably get fired on the spot. Totally worth it.

Read more on Superbad McLovin T Shirt…

{ 0 comments }

Get a 1502 or higher. Guaranteed. That’s quite a guarantee, so if you want to qualify for a good school, and you’re in the Bayside High School area you may want to look up Bayside SAT Prep and get prepared for the biggest test of your life. This, of course, is a Saved By the Bell reference. Zack Morris wasn’t a particularly great student but he did score a 1502 on his SATs and got into Yale. Good for him.

Read more on Saved by the Bell Bayside SAT Prep T Shirt…

{ 1 comment }

I have no idea what this is about. I’ve never played in Super Mario. I know mushrooms give you power ups, lives and more, but I don’t think anybody is eating this dude who kind of looks like that Jackass midget, Jason “Wee Man” Acuna, with a big Mario mushroom looking turban, and a buff bod. So, maybe you become friends with him or punch him or what the hell. I don’t know, and I don’t want to go and try to find out.

Read more on Super Mario Midget Mushroom Man T Shirt…

{ 0 comments }

The house on this shirt looks like it’s in party mode 24/7. It’s got a party hat that I doubt ever comes off, and it has a red door and a red bush, and red lights shining out the windows. That my friend is a party. And, I’m not making allusions to red door churches, red bush women, and red light districts. That would be like a massive binge, but it would be unsustainable. Whereas sticking with a permanent house party hat is something you can pull off for years.

Read more on House Party at My Place T Shirt…

{ 0 comments }

Keg Line Polo Shirt

by on February 16, 2011

Somehow I’ve missed this shirt in the Snorg Tees collection. Could be I’m always on the look out for t shirts and don’t notice a polo shirt. But, this is really kind of funny. Usually that polo logo stands for classiness and a certain social class, but now you have a chance to flip that shit upside down by wearing the Keg Line Polo Shirt. That’s a little keg embroidered on your polo. No one will even notice until they get up close and at that point it’s too late. They’re going to see it and either be offended that you’ve made the upscale polo crass, or they’re going to be blown away at how awesome your sense of humor and love of beer is. Either way it makes a statement and what’s better than making statements without even having to say a word.

Read more on Keg Line Polo Shirt…

{ 0 comments }

Nerd: I’m a N3rd T Shirt

by on February 16, 2011

Used to be this kind of public admittance of such a fact would make you an outcast for life, doomed to living in your mother’s basement with a wedgie that you were unable to extricate from your ass crack. Now, here we are in 2011, and you can call yourself a nerd using a “3” instead of an “e” and that’s like a battle cry. You are basically declaring yourself awesome, and people will either agree or disagree, but there’s no doubt that you’re not going to be picked on and shunned because of the admittance. You’re going to be taken seriously. Yes, people will want to test you and have you give proof that you really are indeed a nerd, because if it’s true, you’re on top of the social pyramid. Nerds rule the earth.

Read more on Nerd: I’m a N3rd T Shirt…

{ 0 comments }

Love this shirt, especially on Valentine’s Day. She’s out there on the veranda thinking to herself, what the fuck did I get into, Jesus is all I need. Forget that I need a man, and scissoring once a month when the Mother Superior is away ain’t cuttin’ it. Thank God for these damn butts or I don’t think I could uphold the the Mother Mary tradition up in here.

Read more on Nun Smoking Bad Habits T Shirt…

{ 0 comments }

Live a Little T Shirt

by on February 15, 2011

This shirt needs absolutely no explanation because it is farkin’ hilarious from the get. You know what I’m going to do to honor the brilliance of this Live a Little T Shirt? I’m going to list every little thing that shows up in its grid of awesomeness.

Read more on Live a Little T Shirt…

{ 1 comment }

In Good We Trust T Shirt

by on February 15, 2011

Busted Tees mentions that this is the most chill religious statement since the Sixth commandment, which just happens to be “Thou Shall Not Kill.” I like this notion of chill religion. Moses hittin’ the acid and trippin’ balls, thinking he’s talking to a burning bush, and carving stone tablets in like 6 hours with cool rules like thou shalt not kill and thou shalt not cock block and thou shalt not talk shit about your bro and thou shalt not be a dick or douche…and stuff like that. Then, there’s Jesus handing out tabs to the disciples when they’re on a boat then tricking them into believing he’s walking on water while they trip balls, and indoctrinating them into the cult of Christ with sweet precepts like be cool broseph, and pass the wine and weed ’til everybody is good and buzzed and stoned, and forget money for a minute and just have some fun.

Read more on In Good We Trust T Shirt…

{ 0 comments }