January 2011

ASCII Zebra T Shirt

by on January 31, 2011

You can’t see it in this image of the shirt, because I wanted to give you a female modeling the shirt, but that really is one of those ASCII art dealios, where people with way too much time on their hands create pieces of art with typing. There are capital I’s and 7’s and colons and those little squiggles, and equal signs, and  pluses and question marks. No lie. This probably took someone like 890 hours to figure out. Then Headline Shirts probably found it on the Internet and said “hey, cool and just copied and pasted and voila…cool ASCII Zebra T Shirt.

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I’m not really sure what this shirt is trying to say. Dinosaurs are extinct, so are they saying that Spring Break alcohol and flesh fests will go extinct just like the dinosaurs, even though with the constant stream of young people (have you ever noticed there doesn’t ever seem to be a gap in college-age kids – like there’s never been a year where humans decided to take a sabbatical from procreating) the phenomenon looks invincible.

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Damn. These Venn Diagrams are all over the Internet, especially in the funny t shirt world. I must have seen two or three in the last year. Combine that white hotness with the taking over the world popularity of zombies, aliens and robots and you have a shirt that will probably just internally combust because it is so damn awesome, trend, hot.

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Nice little wordplay about the rules of grammar. Nice use of the number 33, which is a double three, which just adds to the whole package that is the goodness of this straightforward humor shirt. Who am I fooling? This Rules of Grammar #33 Double Negatives are a No-No T Shirt is totally for geeks that get off on lame little puns, and wordplays. Like never say never or some other grammatical truism that contradicts itself. If you like this shirt, you are an absolute nerd with taped up glasses and no chance of getting laid.

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Robert De Niro is Jack Byrnes and as the stereotypical hard ass father-in-law, he doesn’t trust Ben Stiller, who plays Greg Focker. So, he’s up front and gives him the spiel. He tells him exactly what he expects from Greg, and if he is satisfied Greg will be in Byrnes circle of trust, and if he doesn’t measure up then he’s outside the circle. Well, this is a broad comedy franchise, so you can imagine there’s a lot of antics and Focker goes in and out of the trust circle all the time.

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What a sweet bit of sentiment specifically for Valentine’s Day. Heart felt. Warm. Nice. And, if it really gets random folks of the opposite sex or same sex if you swing that way, then that’s even more romantic, especially if you can forego the chocolates, flowers, and expensive dinners, then this Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I’m Down to Fuck What About You T Shirt is truly the most lovely Valentine’s treat ever. Do you agree?

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Nice little use of a Venn Diagram to capture the confusion that y creates when considering the vowels. You see Y is a consonant but sometimes it is a vowel. You remember the little member aid: A E I O U and sometimes Y. Because you like to harken back to the good ol’ elementary days on occasion, you should probably go ahead and get the Sometimes Y T Shirt.

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Cute little word play. Nails joining together in friendship, planning a night on the town where they drink too much, get sloppy drunk, and do things they will regret for the rest of their lives. I like it. Nails on a non-Christian shirt is a pretty novel idea, so I highly recommend that you get the Let’s Get Hammered T Shirt.

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Cute shirt. Got the alligator and the crocodile bidding their goodbyes with the classic rhyming goofy salutations. Of course, it’s all to cover up that they have very deep feelings for each other, and if life’s circumstances were different or if they had bigger sacks, they could reach out for the ring and hold on to it for dear life. It’s that whole thing, different species not feeling comfortable because of the families and the tradition and the reptilisms. They could be brave and bear the brunt of ostracism and following their hearts, but the weight is too heavy so they slip into cute little colloquialisms.

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Hey…what the hell is going on around here. I go to this IMDB page and it says Rule #76 in Wedding Crashers is “Rule #76: The unmarried female rabbi – is she fair game? Of course she is.”

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Such a mean spirited shirt. Why would you call anyone who suffers from a condition through no fault of their own Teople Poo. I mean I don’t even know what that is exactly, but I think it is the excrement of a marsupial. And, that, my friends is just not nice. Wait, what’s that you say, it’s a wordplay joke that switched some letters around, so instead of saying a nice affirming message like Dyslexics are People Too, this t shirt says Dyslexics are Teople Poo, highlighting the issue they have in sort of a humorous light, but not really being outright mean.

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I don’t care at all about the Mutant Ninja Turtles. They were always so obviously stupid and over-the-top and rah, rah, I couldn’t really even bear to look at them for even a minute. But, this Adult Mutant Ninja Turtles T Shirt is kind of a nice commentary on where that sort of energy often ends up. Boring adult life, commuting to the cubicle to eat a ton of shit, and try not to get fired, and do the minimum to just get by.

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