December 2010

The shark certainly has feelings too, especially in his nose. That’s what you have to do when you get attacked by one of these vicious creatures…punch them right in the nose. It’s excruciating for them. But, maybe we’re talking about emotional type feelings, which is the point where this really starts to get funny, because sharks are made out to be just horrible, blood seeking killers with razor sharp teeth, and the picture on this Shark I Have Feelings Too T Shirt does nothing to diminish that. So, that’s funny because then you say to yourself, “ah, he’s just a big teddy bear, but really he’s a shark and you don’t want to hug him, because he will maim you.

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What you have here is an esoteric Star Wars t shirt, which is kind of a rare thing.  They’re playing off the baking soda box and the Storm Trooper menacing authority garnered from their guns and ammunition (shout out Junior Murvin!) Whoever designed that baking soda box was a genius. The image with the circle around it is so immediately eye pleasing I don’t even know how to express it, and this Arm & Blaster The Standard of Authority T Shirt does a great job capturing that magic.

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Wordplay in the house. First you have the subject in school and it seems pretty cool, learning about wars, and destruction, and evil kings, and evil politicians, and evil civilizations, and every once in a while a touching story about one person that was pretty concerned about the plight of the indigenous people. But, by the second story of that sappy ilk, history sort of gets old to study.

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Very well done shirt here. Look at that hand groping that “S”. And, they didn’t go too far, like I got anally raped by a TSA screener. They kept it realistic and classy, but still got the point across with some humor. This airport screening has gone to far. It’s complete bullshit. You have a better chance of dying in the car on the way to the airport, than you do of dying in the air from a terrorist attack. Plus, the screening is actually still quite inept, especially with the carry on luggage. That is not an exact science and I’m pretty sure 70% of those screeners could be bribed with a jelly donut to look the other way.

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Kanye thought it was appropriate to wrest the microphone away from Taylor Swift and tell the audience at the VMA awards that Beyonce deserved the award that Taylor was accepting. Apparently the two have patched things up after that awkward moment, but one thing you can say for Kanye is he ain’t afraid to speak his mind no matter the consequences.

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Punching Game T Shirt

by on December 27, 2010

You remember the game. Get your body to look down and you have your thumb and forefinger together making a circle, which, of course, means, if they look you get to punch them in the arm…hard. Nice game and this Punching Game T Shirt bumps it to the next level. You’ll be punching everybody in your town with this thing on. They can’t help but look at the odd placement of artwork on the shirt and the nifty design. And, boom, you punch them. They may not get it at first, but once you explain it to them they’ll be cool with it.

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It’s one of them misdirection shirts if I do say so myself. We have a video game controller and the word “sports” which is a total disconnect, because even if you’re playing Madden you ain’t playing sports. EA Sports has no real connection to sports. Don’t let the fact that every professional athlete plays video games, and that sports video game junkies know more Xs and Os and are able to strategize better than professional coaches fool you. Nothing to do with sports. Video games drain your will, give you repetitive motion injuries, and make your mind lazy and your body fat…unless you can totally compartmentalize them into an entertainment portion of your daily routine, which, for some kids, is totally impossible.

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That’s one stylish dinosaur, and that’s the story you are going to tell the flocks of people, that come to you as you’re wearing this shirt, and ask you about the dinosaurs. Yes, you are going to tell them that dinosaurs invented shades…so forget about Ray-Ban, Oakley’s, and Blueblockers. Dinosaurs did it first and they did it best, and they would have had dominating market share had it not been for that little extinction issue.

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Prose Before Hos T Shirt

by on December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas. This shirt is on sale today only for $11. Be real, you haven’t done enough shopping and consuming. Don’t take a break and sit around the fire and Christmas tree listening to Vince Guaraldi Trio. Pull out your card and buy this shirt.

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Hey…what better way to celebrate Christmas than to think of some of the best gifts that you can possibly give, including giving your lover a dick in the box. Beautiful. Merry Christmas

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Merry Christmas. What’s more appropriate than a Jesus shirt on this holiday that celebrate his birth.

What Wouldn’t Jesus Do. Another legitimate question, though in the example on the shirt they have Jesus hang gliding, which, presumably, they are saying is an adventure activity he would not participate in. But, you have to think with all the hiking, and ballsy moves like clearing out the money changers from the temple and dying for people’s sins, and being resurrected, that maybe he could handle a little adrenaline daredevil sporting type activity. So, I love What Wouldn’t Jesus Do  T Shirt because it does depict him hang gliding, which is a great way to picture Jesus, especially since he has long hair but a receding hairline. And, because he’s doing this activity in a robe and bare feet, and you can tell he’s totally  in to it.

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The Chou t shirt store specializes in original gamer and nerdy culture designs that will be right up your alley if you spend more than 72% of your time plugged into a game system or on a computer. They hail from Green Bay, Wisconsin (hey neighbor…I’m in Milwaukee!).

Under staff it says Daniel Chou, so I’m thinking we’re talking about a one-man operation or a very small operation, which I love to support, along with prodigious use of the word “apparel.” Some of the shirt concepts seem to be rehashes that I’ve seen before (ie: Canada America’s Hat and Camping is In-Tents), but there are enough original concepts to make a visit to Chou Store worth your while, especially if you take advantage of the Shirt of the Week that’s on super special — $10 at time of posting, which is a pretty sweet deal.

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