October 2010

Apparently there’s a cartoon called Futurama and in that cartoon there’s a business called Planet Express with the tagline: “Our Crew is Replaceable, Your Package Isn’t,” which is pretty hilarious because it’s a razor sharp commentary on the marketing/business speak of the customer is always right. This slogan for the fictional company asks…how far will you take that mindset. How far will you go to please the customer at the expense of your employees. Are your employees expendable as long as the customer is happy and sales continue to roll in.

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Happy Halloween. There’s always stay safe, be safe messages floating around during this spooky holiday, so I thought I’d add my two cents. You know all about carrying a light on dark streets, wrapping you and your loved ones in reflective tap so you look like mummies from outerspace, and punching in person that hands you fresh fruit in your trick or treat pillow sack, because it may have a razor blade in it, and you need to knock that shit out before it happens to more innocent kids just enjoying their goofy costumes and the dark holiday ambiance.

Read more on Practice Safe Lunch Use a Condiment T Shirt…

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Hey, it looks like Busted Tees is having an awesome election day sale. Election Day is November 2, so Busted Tees put what looks to be 25 shirts on sale for $11.02. Get it? That is in addition to the crapload of shirts they have tagged for their $10 Mega Sale. Go check this out. They don’t explicitly say it but I’m guessing the 11.02 sale ends midnight of election day. Also, don’t forget: vote or don’t.

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Lil Jon & Eastside Boyz put it all together when they decided to record this tune.You know what I’m talking about. It’s fantastic. Skeet = jism and that’s the basic stuff of life. And, of course, the white funny t shirt response is to take the made up rap words and apply them to the closest English meaning and put the rap in an everyday normal world situation, I.e. Shooting clay pigeons, which is totally normal and done by 94% of the population.

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I think my sophomore in high school English teacher just had an aneurysm when I decided to post about this shirt. That’s some bad English that has been printed for all to see forever. What’s funny is that funner is not an easy word to avoid. I legitimately say that sometimes. Do you? I’m pretty sure I haven’t let gooder slip out of my mouth, but that one is a little over the top, which is what makes this Funner is Gooder Than Just Fun T Shirt a lovely addition to any FINE tee collection.

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Man, MacGyver gets a ton of love from the funny t shirt community. He’s always being mentioned in tshirts. Somehow his larger than life ability to get out a sticky situations with elbow grease and a supernatural ability to take common, everyday materials and make weapons and escape implements from them. Masterful. Endearing, and, obviously, enduring since that show stopped airing in 1992.

Read more on Necessity is the Mother of Invention MacGyver is the Father T Shirt…

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Not sure who this shirt is for. If your typical suburban white guy wears this thing, what does that mean. His ancestors came over on the Mayflower to take American jobs, or in other words massacring Indians. Or does a dark skinned person wear this to make people think. Like is this really an illegal immigrant from Mexico or is this a fourth generation college educated Mexican-American that has climbed to a senior management position in a Fortune 500 company. Hard to tell, which is why you have to take into account an individual before you make judgements on an individual.

Read more on I’ve Come to Take American Jobs T Shirt…

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Douche Baggins T Shirt

by on October 28, 2010

This is a straight up slap in the face to the good fun-loving Jersey Shore folk. It’s a bit of cultural commentary that compares these fine people and their unique style to short fictional characters with hairy fat feet. You can see the resemblance to DJ Pauly D in the gelled up douche hair, the douche shades, the douche hand gestures, the douche pursed lips, and the douche pinky ring. The only thing that is really missing is the tan. On this Douche Baggins T Shirt our hero needs more tan.

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Ouch! Isn’t that the truth.We have all been there. I think that I have more trouble with toes, but who hasn’t banged into the glass top coffee table, while trying to wake up your uncle, who is in a black out drunk. He was under the table to go upskirt on the tipsy girls dancing on the said coffee table. I think he got a nice eye full, but he may not remember. You go out there to check and make sure he’s not being asphyxiated by his old vomit and as you get close you slow down because you know it’s there, but the light from the street is playing tricks on your blurry just got up vision and whammo shinbone to the corner.

Read more on The Shinbone is a Device for Finding Furniture in a Dark Room T Shirt…

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This is an exceptionally weird shirt. Lincoln was a bit of a scary looking dude. But, to go as far as a Jolly Roger look with an eye patch. Kind of insulting to one of the most famous and revered presidents in the history of the United States. Plus, you don’t even get to see one of his most creepy features aside from the gaunt face and Amish beard…his overbearing height, especially when wearing the stovepipe hat and those damn platform heels. Nearly a seven footer at that point.

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Of course, Rick said cocaine is a helluva drug with that little c

Everybody has written off the Denver Nuggets this season. All of the turmoil surrounding Carmelo Anthony’s desire to leave. Kenyon Martin acting like a douche because he hasn’t been offered an extension even though he’s been anally raping the organization with his crutches for a large percentage of the time he’s been with the organization. He wasn’t top 5 for worst contracts last 6 years running for nothing. I blame Kiki. Oh, and he’s hurt right now, along with Chris “Birdman” Andersen, so nobody thinks the team can hold it together.

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