July 2010

Wow. This one hits right in the solar plexus. It is a straight shot and I’m not even sure I should have the “C” word on this site. I mean, this isn’t England, where if you don’t call your best friend a cunt at least 21 times a day, your considered a flaming homosexual.

Read more on This Shirt Gets Me So Much Cunt Tshirt…

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A shout out to what many feel is the greatest game of all time: Legend of Zelda.

I like this shirt because it works on a couple of levels. It pleases the most geeky among us, because what’s more nerdy than playing Legend of Zelda in your mom’s basement 12 hours a night. But, it also appeals to those that are into high level business dealing where the operative phrase is “make it rain,” as in work the network, burn up the phones, make the back room deals, bring in the business, and put cash in the coffers.

Read more on Make It Rain Legend of Zelda Song of Storms Tshirt…

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I’m moving to New York City, and I’m riding the subway every day, just to use the wireless. I’ll totally Tweet that I’m on the NYC subway 5 times a day. Then, I’ll do snarky little Facebook postings about how smelly or weird looking the people next to me are. I’m pumped for wireless in the NYC subway system.

Read more on NYC Subway to Get Wireless…

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This here is another super fantastic tshirt. The good ol’ Statue of Liberty has put on a few LB’s, and it’s easy to see why. Too much fried chicken. Too many desserts. And she never really gets any exercise. Kind of just stands there all the time. There’s probably not a better welcome to Ellis Island for foreigners trying to immigrate her than the super fat Ms. Liberty.

Read more on Fat America Statue of Liberty T-shirt…

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You’ll remember Microsoft’s Steve Ballmer mocked the iPad when it was first released, calling it  a glorified Etch-a-Sketch. Well, now he’s sorta eating shit, and because he lost of bet on how many of Apple’s iPad were going to sell, he had to wear that ugly red sweater and admit that the damn things are selling.

Read more on Ballmer loses bet forced to wear that sweater…

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Justin Bieber just put Omaha on the map baby, ‘cuz that shitty town wasn’t even on a map before Bieber dropped his masterpiece song, and now Omaha Mall is trending on Twitter. Nebraska is proud. And you can look it up too. Take any atlas printed before Justin put out his song this yesterday or last week or last month or whatever, and there is not any mention of Omaha, NE. Now, look at the continually updated Google maps or that Rand McNally’s that came off the presses this morning and it’s totally there.

Read more on Newsflash: Omaha Mall Trending on Twitter…

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I’m a couple three weeks late on this, but Chris Kaman buying $10,000 worth of fireworks and lighting them off in what looks to be a quiet suburban cul de sac is definitely worth a look-see.

Read more on Chris Kaman Lights Up Western Michigan…

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You can’t really see all the cuts of the pig on this diagram but you will when you go out to your porch, pick up the box and slowly, with great anticipation, open up the lovely package. You will see the baby back rips, pork chops, and tenderloin on the top of the pig. And, the ham, kielbasa, hot dogs, bacon, sausage, roast, shoulder, spare ribs, and more. This shirt is chock full of good meat information, and let’s not forget the humor.

Read more on It’s All Good Pork Pig Parts Tshirt…

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Even Jenny McCarthy and her new 24-year-old Internet Marketing Coordinator boyfriend have to approve of this vaccine. Give it to ’em early and often is what I say. What would happen if we all didn’t take drugs. It would be a fuckin’ miserable world is what I’m telling you and we’d suffer from a massive epidemic of bored assholes screwin’ stuff up for the rest of us. So, don’t give us that Big PharmaColumbia wants to stick our babies with as many needles as possible simply for the profit. Don’t tell me heroine, speed, Ecstasy, and Adderall will give us autism.

Read more on Drugs The Boredom Vaccine T-shirt…

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This shirt has everything you need. Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt, a transitive pictograph verbalization, Paris, and, of course, misdirection, because there isn’t a pyramid of note in Paris.

If you’re a fufu Frenchie, a mason, or a crazy, whacky, wonderful tshirt designer, then as a professional, you’ll need to pick up this I Love Paris Pictograph Pyramid Tshirt.

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Yep. That’s right Chelsea Clinton is getting married, so all you men hoping to woo President Clinton’s little darling, you’re out of luck. Go cry your eyes out in the closet and…Get. Over. It. The well-known beauty is marrying some investment banker named Marc Mezvinsky, who probably stole taxpayer money and old people’s retirements in the banking free for all we’re still suffering from. Or maybe he was one of the good ones…ha ha ha. Good ones…that’s a good one. Anyway, maybe Chelsea has a great personality, because she seems to have Hilary’s pastiness and Bill’s misshapen nose. Nonetheless, let’s celebrate for the couple as they scrape together a couple three million greenbacks to throw a suitable wedding.

Read more on Sorry Boys Chelsea’s Off the Market…

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Damn. Dude could of parked in downtown Chicago with their bend over privately operated parking meters and still come out ahead on this deal. Of course, he won the lawsuit over the home owner’s association and will be reimbursed the legal fees that have incurred over the several year-long court battle to park his truck in his driveway.

Read more on Man spends $200K to park in his driveway…

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