July 2009

in-a-van-down-by-the-river-tshirtTalk about inspirational, Farley as motivational speaker, Matt Foley, really poured it on and made the wayward kids sit up and take notice. No way they walk away from the heavy gesticulation, table breaking and sweatiness with anything but resolve to change their ways. No more drugs, lies, cheating, drinking. It’s the straight and narrow or they’ll wind up living in a van down by the river.

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i-liked-video-games-before-they-were-cool-shirtYou’re a taste maker. You fire up the trends. You’re in too stuff way before it hits the main stream. Some people are just like this. Lightening rods for the shit that’s going to take off. And this time it was video games. You were the super nerd that had no friends and no life playing one player pong for 9 hours a day. So, props to you. ‘Cuz you parlayed your geniosity into severe nerdity in the form of 13 hours/day of WoW.

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vintage-like-your-mother-tshirtEven when it’s just jokes, the stuff about your mother can get old. Some of it’s nasty…some in poor taste…some just mean spirited. That’s why I am endorsing Vintage Like Your Mother Tshirt, because it’s a totally positive message about how your mom may be old and nasty, but just like old and nasty clothes that get a second lease on life under the guise of vintage, your Mother can get a second chance at usefulness if I just where this tshirt to your mother’s house for all family get togethers.

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nuclear-evolution-tshirtWhat you do is go ahead and get this Nuclear Evolution Shirt. Then, you make it a point to where it wherever you’re certain there will be nuclear power proponents. Here’s why. Yeah, it’s a cleaner burning and generating fuel, but there’s this nasty shit that comes from the development process that has a half life of like 32 bazillion years.

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time-machine-tshirtIf you’re not from the region, you may not know this, but this is a common prank in the South. Yes, we all know that time machines typically do look like your every day brown cardboard box. If the South, and this happened to me in Birmingham, AL about four times, people will actually take the time to write time machine on a box to make it look like the real deal, and then put it in a public space.

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