January 2009

pistols-for-pandas-tshirtI almost forgot about HomeStarRunner until some dude at work reminded me of the total hilarity. You’ll probably need to hit up the HSR store for some real fine goods, including this lovely Pistols For Pandas shirt.

When it comes time decide what charity to give my hard-earned cash I live to follow a few rules in sorting through the thousands of options for philanthropy:

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Lawn Chair Tshirt

by on January 11, 2009

lawn-chair-tshirtIt’s dead of winter. You have cabin fever. Your lips are cracked. Your walk needs shoveling. And the forecast calls for -30 wind chill all next week. What do you do?

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Squeeze T Shirt

by on January 10, 2009

squeeze-tshirtI love this tshirt. It’s so original and it looks just awesome on the actual shirt material. Looks otherworldly with the realistic hand putting the squeeze on the little blue glob. Blue glob is in shock, his limbs are slack and he really doesn’t know what to do.

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crayfish-crush-tshirtThing that nobody realizes is that that crayfish stole that swiss army knife from a hermit crab. The knife and the hermit were living a quiet life, minding their own business, when crayfish came along and started putting the moves on.

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busted-tees-super-sale-10
From RIGHT NOW to January 18, 2009, Busted Tees is offering a ripping good Happy New Year Super Sale. 100 shirts for $10. And, yes, there are some crusty stuff like insto-out-o-date political garb like George Bush has Aides, McCain 1908, Hilary 08, Gore in 2008, Stewart/Colbert 08 and the like, but they also slashed prices on some of my faves:

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poker-anonymous-i-bet-i-can-quit-tshirtNow, see this is like a trick question, because this person could probably easily quit poker, as long as he has the horses and a direct line to the sports book at The Mirage, and perhaps some dice and maybe any little bet scenario, like whether or not the fat kid is going to pick his nose before he gets picked up by his mom.

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loch-ness-imposter-tshirtMystery solved. All those sightings in Scotland are really just the result of a well thought out prank by an octopus. I love the smirk on his face, because you know he reads the clippings and that his work has become famous.

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Bailout Tshirt

by on January 4, 2009

bailout-tshirtAnother option for the government is to keep the purse strings tied and let these greedy execs figure out a plan B. Extra cost would be more frequent sidewalk cleaning services and maybe a 24/7 watch for jumpers (to warn passers by). Still, look at the ledger and $45,000 looks a lot more palatable than Eleventy-billion for a bailout of complete dumb asses, working out-dated business models (can you say car industry) and taking full body dips (as opposed to skimming from the top) into the dividends.

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most-likely-to-secede-tshirtYou know those high schoolers really nailed it with Robert E. Lee, when they were voting for the year book. Probably got a clue when he marched on the school grounds demanding a separate school for all the kids with acne (he was the leader of the zit club).

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textually-active-tshirtHey, it’s good to let the singles in the bar know what’s goin’ on right from the get go. If you hook up this evening you will for sure get their digits and hit ’em up with text messages…all the time.

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bff-best-friends-forever-tshirtHappy New Year! Hope you’re feeling as festive and benevolent as these holy men.

Let’s have a look at this. This is the first step to complete world harmony. Getting the religions to jump and shout and dance about as best friends forever. Symbolically, we have the Buddhist monk, Catholic priest, Jewish rabbi and the Islamic holy man taking a day trip to the mall. They’ve found such great post-holiday sales that they can’t help but jump for joy.

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