October 2008

If you can’t love the one your with, then you probably need to day dream about fighting the man. If you can’t possible live in your current moment, then raise your first in the air and let people know where your heart is: REVOLUTION.

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Pimp T shirt

by on October 20, 2008

Math is funny. Pimps are funny. Put ’em together and you have laughs to the hundreth power. There are two types of people worthy of wearing this perfectly awesome tshirt: real pimps and math wizzes. Then, I think you start a club and have a convention in a hotel ballroom in Schenectady, NY in September, where all the Pi mps gather, mingle, network and share war stories.

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Updog T shirt

by on October 19, 2008

Here’s how this cool little shirt works. You walk around with Updog on your chest and it totally looks like it means something, comes from some hilarious movie or is the name of a terrific little video that’s gone viral on YouTube.

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Warning: the pope will excommunicate you, and probably put you in a damp dungeon for even reading this post. You know how there’s that entire industry built around critiquing celebrity fashion as they walk the red carpet for the 97 awards ceremonies they have to celebrate themselves throughout the year. I think there should be an underground circuit of clergy fashion critics.

Read more on My Other Hat is Also Retarded T Shirt…

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This shirt rocks. Couldn’t have nailed the Star Wars look any better. And Hans Harrison has never looked so dashing as he does in this splayed leg killer solo pose. I often consider this shirt, as I’m sure the creators did. What if it said “Hans Solo?” Or what if didn’t have any text? Would that take it to the next level? We’ll never know, but the shirt is funny nonetheless.

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Kenya Dig It T shirt

by on October 15, 2008

I’m a frontrunner. I like to keep up with what’s hot and there’s not a country that’s hotter than Kenya right now. I’m talking terrific Olympic long distance running back in August and the fact that Barack Obama’s father was from Kenya. And, this shirt of course. It’s on fire, tipping point hot.

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Taking the time to explain a joke or funny t shirt does not destroy the humor or even lessen the impact in my opinion. Take for instance this very clever shirt. This is a slight twist on a very common Catch-22 question women ask boyfriends and husbands. “Does this shirt make me look fat?” There is no real way to answer it correctly. If you say “no” but it really does, then the women runs the risk of looking fat in public and probably hearing about it third hand from the hair dresser or the lady that does her nails. On the other hand, if you honestly say, “yes, honey, that shirt does, in fact, make you look fat” then you will probably receive a total immersion dumping of boiling grease that melts your face off as you sleep on the couch. So, watch out for that question.

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That boy scout is getting whatfor from that mama bear, because he didn’t head rule #1. Bears are dangerous. Do not feed them. Keep away from them. He went up there and was trying to be friendly with cubs, offering a few Chicken in a Biskit Snack Crackers and all of a sudden mama bear comes out all pissed, ‘cuz she doesn’t think those crackers are very natural or good for her kid cubs and happy-go-lucky boy scout is run off.

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Not really funny at all. But, another way to make you thankful for the $17 you make at Hardee’s on a daily basis. Plus, wearing it helps you remember those less fortunate, slaving away in shiffy conditions for basically nothin’.

Read more on Sweatshops: Another Day Another Dollar T Shirt…

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Freud was a well known prankster, josher and jiver. He messed with people’s heads. The fact that anybody ever took his shit seriously was a bafflement to him and anyone that ever spent more than five minutes with him. But, isn’t that the way sometimes. Some folks are just destined to go down in history.  Anyway, the story goes he’d get in these “psychological” discussion sessions with “clients” and would poke, prod and get folks just to bare their soul, then at the end he would say: “Thank you for being so open with me. My final diagnosis is…Yo Mama.”

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Rainbows are Gay T Shirt

by on October 10, 2008

Shouldn’t that be “ghey?” Just trying to be a little more PC.

Meanwhile, you’re entering a real gray area if you’re wearing this shirt. Yeah, you’re making a statement, but at the same time you are wearing a rainbow, so some people may question your real motivation, like maybe your 83% ghey yourself.

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This is a very important message. A powerful PSA. If you want the kids, you need to do the SEX. Straight to the point. Who wouldn’t want to go for parenthood after looking at that very poignant scene on the front of this shirt? You and I both agree with Whitney: “I believe the children are our future.” And let me tell you a startling fact—there’s only one way to produce children: sex. No joke.

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