June 2008

the-internet-is-for-lovers-teeIf you’re like me (and I’m sure you are) sometimes you get tired of all the random humor on these crazy tshirts these kids wear now-a-days. It’s about time we got back to some good ol’ homespun truths like The Internet is for Lovers.

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My Marxist Feminist Dialectic Brings All the Boys to the Yard TshirtI was just thinking about her. Such a sweet girl. Full lips. Toned body. And that dialectic making us all tremble with desire. Yes, ma’am, we’ll take that message to the streets. Such hypnotic power, like staring into Prince’s eyes. You can’t go back. You’ll never be the same.

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It\'s All Good in the Hood Mr. Rogers TshirtI wonder: Do the kids remember and miss Mr. Rogers and his cardigan, shoe switchin’, fish feedin’ and spooky as all hell puppet plays? It certainly was a beautiful day in the neighborhood when Fred was smilin’ at you.

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Earthquakes Not My Fault TeeShirtA little play on words. A little double entendre. A little schniggly wiggly goin’ on here on this lemon American Apparel tee. It’s funny. It’s cute. I’m a total sucker for this stuff.

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I enjoy entertainment tshirtAre you in this exclusive club? Get this I enjoy entertainment tshirt and make it known around the world. Actually, I’m lying. Entertainment is the keeping us down. Who do you think decided to make High Definition, plasa, LCD, wide screen, entertainment centers, surround sound? The man. What about coercing Hollywood to instigate the new golden age of television. The man. How about video sharing sites and blogs. The man. Electronic gadgets like iPods and laptops. The man. Game systems like Wii and PS3. The man. Fantasy sports and real time box scores. The man. Digital music on demand. The man. Netflix. The man. Lap dances from tranquilized orangatanges, banana slug enemas, middle-aged accountant porn. The man.

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Muy Erotico Flip Flops and Socks Tshirt

This tshirt hits waaaaaay close to home. That is MY style. And after all the abuse I’ve taken, I am now vindicated, because what I’ve been doing prophetically is finally getting its due. It is Muy erotico!

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Let’s Bond Tshirt

by on June 6, 2008

Let\'s Bond TshirtAre these molecules? Must be. Molecules bond. Right? Yes, it’s official. According to Wikipedia, molecules bond: covalent bonds, which involves sharing of electrons and atoms, and ionic bonds, which are chemical bonds that form through electrostatic attraction. I’m definitely pretty sure that the scene you’re witnessing on this beautiful yellow tee is ionic, because that’s ELECTROSTATIC ATTRACTION, baby.

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Mommy Drank Tshirt

by on June 5, 2008

Mommy Drank TshirtThis shirt seriously hit me upside the head. It takes a beat or two to sink in. That tough guy pose with the tatted digits is hoopty whirled on its head and all of a sudden we’re talking about a deformity that really shouldn’t be humorous at all, except that the violence on all those screens I stare at has desensitized me. Not to mention the rap music. And pointless slaughter of chickens to feed my craving for meaty legs.

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What kind of tshirt blogger am I, if I’m not alerting my faithful readers to the sweet sale going on at threadless right now? If you’re looking for one-of-a-kind tshirt design at bargain prices, get on over to Threadless right now and have a ball.

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That\'s How I Roll TshirtThis tshirt from Crooked Monkey brings me back to gym class calisthenics back in third grade. Not totally fond memories, since my tumbling, somersault technique was weak. It was always a lumpy, bumpy ride with me, like I didn’t have enough tuck and I’d get stuck with all the pressure on the top of my head. Then, it was sort of a crash to the ground. But I was tryin’. On the bright side, I wore the stylin’ short shorts, had a bowl haircut, went to Sunday school every weekend, and let everyone know my farmer’s tan was the real deal, while wearin’ my “vintage” ringer tees with the skimpy sleeves.

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Beeew! Lasers are Fun TshirtI almost don’t want to say anything about this shirt because it is so perfect. It’s like watching an awesome movie on DVD and deciding whether or not to check out the special features. My rule of thumb is, if the movie transported you to another place then don’t watch the features in the same sitting.

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I meet or exceed expectations tshirtYou gotta let people know what’s up from the get. But here’s the thing: you must be able to back this up. And here’s where it gets all metaphysical ==> If you’re wearing this perfectly stylish tshirt with its clever words, then, well, you just bumped up the expectations. Let’s just say the bar has been raised and now livin’ up to this standard is imperative. You may even need to take it to the next level. So, all I’m saying, is KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING when you put this one on.

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