Tshirt Groove

Hamburglar and Richard Nixon had a lot in common. Both liked to eat burgers on the mall in front of the Washington monument, both, coincidentally, liked to wear black masks, and both graduated from Mount Holyoke College.

Help sway public perception. Purchase the I am not a crook tshirt. All proceeds go to the I am not a crook foundation.

You know I moved to Milwaukee about a year and a half ago and couldn’t really care less about the Packers and this Brett Favre thing, but when I saw this tshirt I had to give it a mention. It really is a complicated situation and there’s a giant web of emotion connected to it. Many of these Packer fans don’t know what to think. Hope Favre stays retired and preserves his legacy before he craps the bed. Hope he comes back and builds on last year’s surprise success. Maim themselves if Favre is released and allowed to go to the Vikings or Bears or some unholy shit like that. Or bury themselves in brats, beer and cheese and hope that the entire complicated mess goes away…and that the Brewers win the pennant.

I’m kinda glad I’m detached from the drama and not suffering. But, I feel for my fellow Wisconsinites.

Anyway, no one is going to buy this tshirt because no one wants him freed from his contractual obligation to the Green Bay organization. Obviously not Packer fans. And I have a hard time seeing Central Division rivals welcoming their long-time arch-nemesis with open arms. That’s not going to happen. I think maybe only Brett and his immediate family get this shirt.

So, Brett, if you’re reading this, get Free Favre 4 tshirt now.

You know we all laugh at these fifties looking clip art images with funny out of place, risque quotes superimposed on clean cut guys and gals, but if you really stop and think about it, those 50s people were the original Gs. I mean, who do you think started this whole sex thing, alcohol and drugs, and rock ‘n roll. That’s right, it was the dude in the sweater vest and tie sitting in first class, putting the moves on the Betty. Fo’ sho’.

Have some respect. Give proper regard to the ones that came before and read up on some history. It’s called education and no one can take it away from you.

Pick up the I have no STDs tshirt and get a leg up on the competition.

Also, remember, we don’t have to take our clothes off to have a good time. Pretty much two party rules to live by.

Now, let’s get this party started with some pin the tail on the donkey. What is the origin of this game? I can’t fathom it. Some supra genius dreamed up a disembodied donkey and thought to himself, wouldn’t it be fun to put him back to together again. But after a few serious mishaps with toddlers and the donkeys they stabbed, the safety coalition decided to put it all on paper. Still, three barrels of fun, but the heavy dose of fear and danger is sorely missed. Happy Birthday.

You’re the winner if you grab a let’s get totally out of control tonight tshirt.

ET was totally sick of the sniveling Elliot by the time they made the final ascent. And that little wicker basket could not have been comfortable, so inevitably Elliot was thrown off like so much dead weight. This tshirt captures the pivotal moment, where ET frees himself of the heavy load that was Elliot. And don’t kid yourself. Elliot may have been a stupid little kid, but he knew it was coming. He knew it was inevitable. Thus, his half-hearted attempt to reach out. His feigning interest in why.

If you want to share the shocking truth of what really happened you’ll need to get this Good Bye Elliot Free ET Tshirt.